noizemagazine - Index

noizemagazine - noiZe Magazine Issue 57 August 2008 - Index

8. When George W. Bush was elected president, I:
A. Celebrated.
B. Was depressed.
C. Got high.
D. Who’s George Bush?
9. It’s 2 a.m. in Provincetown. I’m:
A. Asleep at my hotel.
B. Hanging out at Spiritus Pizza.
C. Partying at someone’s house.
D. Passed out on Dick Dock.
10. I leave the dance floor when I:
A. Take a breather.
B. Cool off and sit down.
C. Pee and refill my water bottle.
D. Pass out.
11. I go to Palm Springs to:
A. Relax, hike, and play golf.
B. Stay at a “clothing optional” guesthouse.
C. Go to the White Party.
D. Get checked into Betty Ford.
12. After an all-night party, I:
A. Wake up refreshed after a long night of sleep.
B. Make breakfast and get some much-needed shut-eye.
C. Get ready for the Recovery party.
D. Get better acquainted with new “friends.”
13. My mode of transportation between Cherry Grove and Fire Island Pines is:
A. The water taxi.
B. A walk on the beach.
C. On foot through the Meat Rack.
D. Being led blindfolded, my wrists tied behind me.
14. Complete this phrase. "G_____":
A. Whiz!
B. Spot.
C. Lounge.
D. HB.
Score 1 for every A answer, 2 for B, 3 for C and 4 for D.
18 or less: Move to New Hope and open an antique shop.
30 or less: Buy some boarder shorts, puka beads and work on your tan.
43 or less: Your photo gets mine.
Above 44: Haven’t we had sex?